How to Be a Stoic

The Big Themes

Epictetus as the Central Voice

Most modern Stoic books lead with Marcus Aurelius. Pigliucci makes a deliberate and refreshing choice to center Epictetus instead. This matters because Epictetus — a former slave who became one of the most influential teachers in Rome — brings a different energy to Stoic philosophy. Where Marcus reflects privately on his own struggles, Epictetus teaches directly and sometimes confrontationally. He does not soften his message for comfort. Pigliucci channels this directness throughout the book, creating an intellectual rigor that gentler introductions lack.

The choice of Epictetus also allows Pigliucci to engage more deeply with Stoic ethics and logic, areas that Marcus barely touches. Epictetus saw philosophy as a comprehensive discipline that trains your desires, your actions, and your reasoning. Pigliucci structures the book around this framework, giving readers access to dimensions of Stoicism that the popular literature usually ignores.

Virtue as Practiced Skill

One of the most common misconceptions about Stoicism is that virtue is binary — you either have it or you do not. Pigliucci dismantles this reading thoroughly. He frames virtue as a craft that develops through deliberate practice, much like playing an instrument or learning a language. You will not achieve perfect wisdom. The point is the trajectory: are you making progress? Are you more courageous this year than last? More honest? More just? Pigliucci draws on Epictetus to argue that the practice itself — the daily effort to improve — is what gives life meaning, regardless of whether you reach some imagined finish line.

The Role of Preferred Indifferents

This is the Stoic concept that trips up most newcomers, and Pigliucci handles it better than almost any modern writer. The Stoics claimed that health, wealth, reputation, and even life itself are “indifferent” — neither good nor bad in themselves. Only virtue is truly good. But they also acknowledged that some indifferents are naturally preferred (health over sickness, comfort over deprivation). Pigliucci explains this apparent contradiction clearly: you can pursue preferred indifferents without making your happiness dependent on obtaining them. You go to the doctor, save for retirement, and take care of your body. But if any of these are taken from you, your core well-being remains intact because it was never built on external foundations.

Confronting the Objections

Pigliucci does not shy away from the standard criticisms of Stoicism. Does it suppress emotions? No — it targets destructive passions (irrational fear, uncontrolled anger, consuming desire) while cultivating positive emotions like joy, rational caution, and appropriate wish. Does it encourage passivity? No — the Stoics were among the most politically engaged philosophers in Rome, and Stoic practice requires constant active effort. Is it too individualistic? Pigliucci points to the Stoic emphasis on cosmopolitanism and duty to the community as evidence that Stoicism is fundamentally social.

These sections are particularly valuable for readers who have encountered Stoicism through social media, where it is often reduced to a superficial toughness that the actual philosophy would not recognize.

Practical Application

The Epictetus test. When something disturbs you, ask immediately: is this within my control or not? If it is not within your control — someone’s opinion of you, the weather, a flight delay — practice letting go of your emotional investment in it. If it is within your control — your effort, your honesty, your response — direct all your energy there. Pigliucci recommends doing this exercise formally at least once per day, choosing a specific situation and walking through the analysis explicitly rather than relying on intuition.

The role ethics exercise. Pigliucci draws on Epictetus’s concept of roles to address a very modern problem: how to balance competing obligations. You are simultaneously a parent, an employee, a friend, a citizen, and a human being. Each role carries specific duties. When roles conflict (work demands versus family needs), Pigliucci advises ranking them: your role as a rational, ethical human being always takes priority, followed by your closest relationships, followed by professional and civic obligations. This is not a perfect formula, but it is a far better decision-making tool than most people operate with.

The Stoic journal. Pigliucci maintains a personal journal as part of his Stoic practice and recommends it unreservedly. The format is simple: record a situation that challenged you, identify which Stoic principle was relevant, and evaluate how well you applied it. Over time, this journal becomes a map of your progress and your recurring weak spots. Writing forces clarity in a way that mental review does not.

The philosophical friendship. Pigliucci argues that Stoicism is difficult to practice in isolation. Find one person — a friend, a partner, a colleague — who is willing to engage seriously with philosophical questions. Not to philosophize abstractly, but to hold each other accountable. Did you handle that argument well? Were you honest when it was uncomfortable? Epictetus taught in a school for a reason: philosophical progress is faster in community.

Why a 4-Star Rating

This book earns four stars rather than five because its intellectual thoroughness occasionally works against its accessibility. Pigliucci is more interested in getting the philosophy right than in making it easy to digest. Certain chapters — particularly on Stoic logic and the nature of God — may feel like detours for readers primarily interested in practical application. The writing is clear but academic in tone, which some readers will appreciate and others will find slightly dry compared to Holiday’s narrative energy or Irvine’s conversational warmth.

That said, the 4-star rating comes with a strong recommendation. This is the most philosophically honest modern introduction to Stoicism available. Pigliucci does not simplify where simplification would distort. If you want to actually understand what the Stoics thought and why, rather than just borrowing their techniques, this is the book.

Read This If…

• You want a philosophically rigorous introduction that respects both the ancient texts and your intelligence
• You are drawn to Epictetus specifically and want a modern guide structured around his thought
• You have encountered Stoicism through popular culture and want to understand what it actually says

Skip This If…

• You want pure practical exercises without philosophical context — try A Handbook for New Stoics instead
• Academic tone puts you off — Irvine or Holiday write more casually
• You are mainly interested in Marcus Aurelius — Robertson’s How to Think Like a Roman Emperor is the better choice

Start Here

Pick one situation from today that annoyed or upset you. Write down two things: what actually happened (facts only, no interpretation) and what you told yourself about what happened (the story, the judgment, the emotion). Notice the gap between the two. That gap is where all your Stoic work will happen. Epictetus taught that it is not events that disturb us, but our judgments about events. This exercise makes that principle concrete and personal.